Pantsless Hero

| Tuesday, June 23, 2009

It was early afternoon but I'd been getting up late so that was my breakfast time. Whatever. I was coming back from the school cafeteria, and I took a path through the large courtyard of the dormitories. Many people were hanging out here, scattered in small groups among grass, trees, and columns. I was not wearing pants. I pulled my shirt down to cover my underwear and felt glad I was wearing one of those extra long shirts. I hoped no one would notice. Nobody would notice. I'm one of those girls that wear super short shorts that you can't even see because the shirt covers the whole thing, right? I sauntered through slowly, gliding by, to not call any attention to myself, but looked around at all the groups. I passed a large group of guys, many of whom were in my major, so I recognized them. I think I caught one of their eyes but I turned away quickly and held my shirt down. I saw another sprinkle of people running from the side opening of the courtyard through the grass, falling and laughing.

There were many others coming back from getting food or going out to get food, so there was a bustling of people I had to get through to get to the right entrance. I saw, in annoyance, that the normal one was closed off for some reason. The fire exit stairway was open instead, so we moved up that. Only girls were coming up this side of the building. Which might have served as somewhat of a relief, but I felt none at all as I realized that not only was I pantsless, I was not wearing underwear either. My shirt was not long enough to shield me as I walked up the stairs. Everyone coming up behind me... they would not miss it...

We reached the top of the stairs where a sign instructed us to wait. Apparently it was some sort of dorm event. A girl spoke up. "Why are you... not wearing pants?" She made a face. All the girls were looking at me strangely, and I thought of something to say, because honestly I didn't have a good reason. There was a long, awkward minute while I had nothing to say and couldn't say anything anyway because there was a huge chunk of ice in my mouth that I couldn't melt fast enough. A different girl raised her brows and turned to her friend. "Okaaay? I guess that's a good reason too?" Her grimace broke into a giggle. I finally thought of a cop out statement and I knew I needed to speak, now, so I spit the ice out into my hand. "I dunno. I dust woge up dith way." Dammit there was still some ice in my mouth. I found a garbage can and spit the rest of it out. "Like when I woke up I was in the courtyard and I was like this." The girls looked incredulous. I know, I know; it didn't make any sense.

However, something clicked in my mind as I thought of what I said: "when I woke up." Wasn't this a really common dream scenario? Heck yeah it is! I used to study dream symbolism. This kind of dream simply indicated your feeling of vulnerability in every day life or something. I knew now that I could have all their attention when I explained. But instead of telling all the fake girls sneering at me (they were quite literally fake) I excitedly turned to a rather ugly short and stout girl standing next to me and grabbed up her hands. "No no, guess what!" I exclaimed. "I just 'woke up' this way, and I'm not wearing pants. Doesn't this all make sense?" I looked into her homely face as it clicked in her mind as well. "Yes! Wow, this makes complete sense!"

She beamed at me and I turned around and opened the door out into the halls where the event was preparing. There was a row of cheerleaders and other event coordinators creating an archway of shaking pom poms and they were all cheering. For me. They were happy that I figured this out. I ran through them and turned the corner to another archway of cheerleaders all beaming and cheering at me, and I thought to myself, "This is ridiculous." I suppose this was better than the alternative--to have them stone silent and staring at me as I streaked past. So I just ignored it. I turned a few more corners taking the shortest path to my room. I found to my relief there were no more cheering people. However, pom pom batons hung on people's doorknobs in preparation for the event. I picked some up and pretended to be a cheerleader as I ran towards my door at the end of the hall. I laughed and threw them aside. In one leap, I grabbed my doorknob, opened it (to my relief it was unlocked), swung myself in, and closed it. Badass. Ninja. Yeahhh.

I was safe now, even though this room was dark, musty, and not unpacked enough to feel homey yet. I went to my bed which was piled high with junk, and as I laid my head down on a portfolio box I realized I was about four assignments behind in C++ programming. They were large assignments and were due today. I thought about how I just wasn't doing well in my classes overall. I barely spoke in my social studies class, which... normally I would, but it was so early in the morning I usually keep my mouth shut around that time and half-sleep and doodle my way through the class. My teachers did not like me. Shouldn't I start programming? A glimmer of hope and motivation was stamped out as I thought, what's the point... I'm already too behind. I fell asleep and proceeded to live inside another dream.


Jeff said...

I'm so confused by that dream I'm not sure what to think. But yay that you figured it out before you lost your shirt or something weird :)

ND said...

There's nothing to really "get" here, haha. It just is what it is. I've never been that explicitly aware like that in a dream before, so I felt like writing it up, in hopes that it somehow subconsciously triggers this same awareness next time a reader dreams. :] Yeah, that's it.

drFurly said...

that dream is oddly inspiring.. until the c++ part, then it's terrifying.