White eyed

| Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I pulled an all-nighter for no real reason. All I had today was Calculus at 9am anyway. I went and hoped I'd be awake enough.

I couldn't concentrate on what was on the board. When I tried to, I'd find myself rippling awake from almost falling face down on the desk or falling back with my mouth agape. Neither actually happened as far as I know, but I wondered how obvious it was--I was sitting in the front row and once or twice as I twitched I heard some people on the other side of the room laughing. Calculus isn't that funny.

After a while of the agonizing pattern of watching the teacher and dozing and jerking awake and analyzing the clock anxiously, I decided then to gather down notes instead. It was just copying from my notebook to another piece of paper.

sin2(x) = ½(1+
... no, that wasn't right. It was minus. I erased the plus. There is no peace. I like peace. Peace is good but peace isn't war. This one was war. I woke.
sin2(x) = ½(1- war )

It didn't even look like my handwriting... I stared at it for a few seconds, then erased it. I carefully copied down the correct equation, and went along.

I kept... falling asleep though... the clock... slow

I looked at the teacher's face (were my eyes even open?) and watched his chalk movements as well as I could. I considered walking out of the room and chilling in the halls or bathroom for a while, but the pressure against getting up in the middle of class kept me in my seat.

More notes. I had to look busy. I trained myself to make my jolty waking-up moments look sort of natural by easing it into a motion of stretching. Notes. Teacher. Clock. My pencil.

I woke. The teacher was now at the left side of the room, my side of the room. I looked at him and he was looking at me, I think. I didn't know how long I was looking at him or if I even had my eyes open, if I was even awake, but I heard him say, "..that's enough for one day, Friday test moving on, practice, next class handout copy down hah can your own really practice only way quick 50 minutes" was I sleeping?

I don't know.

I did get some notes down though.


Jahzara said...

Your notes are creepy. o_o
You shouldn't have even gone. xD I almost fell asleep a few times in Philosophy. I pretended like I was writing notes and occasionally did.
I tried sleeping in my math class over the summer though. >> The math teacher stood behind me and said "Math seems to be a bit much for Amy today" or something to that effect.
I wish I had been able to sleep in class during high school. I just never had the blessing of being tired, even if I hadn't had enough sleep. Now that I do get tired and want to sleep, I realize how inappropriate and rude it is. Apparently that doesn't seem to phase me much though when I do lay my head down...