Something for pure aesthetics. Maybe something with
unspilled saliva, unspoken tears of consolation,
something to make up for unpaid dues. Lines
of English devoid of purpose or any sort
of profundity. Maybe some big words
the kind that isn't used all that
often, to give it a sense of
uniqueness? Though the
feeling isn't really
unique. People feel
empty all the time
People stay up
late at night
all the time
for reasons
pointless
baseless
like me
tonight
every
night
this
week
for
nil

And when I do decide to go to bed, how wonderful
these vivid dreams are. Sure, they're strange like
most dreams you hear babbled from your friends when
you don't really care to know the details of nonsense
but it's mostly the feeling I crave. The nicest plays
out after waking up first from the sounds of the morning
all happening around me while I continue to sleep in, now
slightly roused from the deep dark state of rest, my brain
revving its creative engine to feed me stories of some world
I've never been to but is incredibly familiar. What stands out
most about it is how fun it is. It's fun. Forget games, forget
watching television or movies. This is even more real. Feels
even more real than real life sometimes. It's bold, so full
of color and feeling. I don't even remember most of what
I experienced in these dreams, but I remember waking up
and seeing the clock, not wanting to see the clock
but my body somehow knows the time and why it is
crucial to my success in life. In real life.
Real life. I'm happy in real life, I know
I am. Things are going well. Maybe I
am not living it totally the way
I should, but I try sometimes

And the hardest things to put into words
even in senseless varying lines of prose
will stay locked in. Dust will settle
and details will fill the ridges
and whatever keeps me up tonight
will take a Vicodin.

I see you, and you, and you.
I can only imagine how you're feeling.
I wish I could help, but I'm not sure how.