| Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I've got the 5am wordings. Bug eyes and spaghetti brain. Let's see how my noodle can do actual programming that needs to get done, at this hour. If I don't get distracted by the words. Which I will.

Should've known that burning-all-day coffee at Jackinthebox at 12am is gross and never worth a try--I should get some quality coffee at the on-campus Bistro tomorrow or sometime nice when it won't turn my stomach lining inside out (so never?) but god, coffee is so smooth there. No grimace, only that involuntary ecstatic smile, the kind I also get from peppermint tea with a touch of sugar after a day at school. But I guess the budget thing about drinking coffee is that it turns me off food, probably because of the caffeine stimulant plus the subsequent all-day nausea.

I need to work on my karma. Thin line between feeling guilty about every little thing, and being careless about everybody else. Guilty because I'm selfish, selfish because I'm guilty. The past few years I have been gradually building hate for those two words. And I like words. I'd like to flush these out of my mind-sight and out of my everything. I'm so introspective, which is great, right, but how about setting my sights outwards for a while? I used to think improve the inner, improve the outer. How's trying a switch? Karma. I need to work on mine.